Allegedly...

The Bridal Brigade Takes Manhattan (Part 3)

2011-01-31T17:46:00.000-08:00

Hi Dolls! Sorry for the delay on this third installation, but I've been uber-busy lately. I promise it won't happen again (cross my heart).

So, Saturday morning I wake up a couple minutes before my alarm, and I can practically feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was so excited, but also terribly nervous all at once... which is probably why I almost passed out in the shower. True story. I had a mild panic attack over it, but whatev, I was getting my wedding dress so it was going to take a little more than a touch of postural hypo tension to stop me from going to Kleinfeld's.

(Sidenote: Although I am always thankful to have StoveTop in my life, that morning was just one of those times when I would have been lost if she wasn't there. Have I ever mentioned that StoveTop is a top-notch hair stylist? Well she is, and if there is anything that can calm me down when I am all manic it's someone giving me an amazeball blowout. Back to the story...)

After all of us had finally pulled ourselves together (only running an hour late... shocking...) Mama came to pick us up, bearing gifts in the form of piping hot cinnamon rolls (some would argue too hot judging by the black bottoms, but we weren't complaining) and venti treats from Starbucks. At this point everything was going swimmingly, but of course, the universe just could not let my life continue on that smoothly...

Out of nowhere, it hit me.

You know that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach where you think "I'm-going-to-be-sick- but-if-I-open-my-mouth-to-tell-anyone-I-am-for-sure-going-to-be-sick"? That one. I don't know if it was the nerves, the fact that I might be actually getting sick, or that my Spanx were too tight (or most likely a combination), but I felt like hell.... and I had 3 hours and 45 minutes left of a 4 hours drive. Eek!

Lucky for me, Mama knows me like the back of her own hand. She looks and me and says in her sweetest voice "Are you okay?" with a look on her face that says "Don't you dare think about puking in my car" which brought a tiny smile to my face. All the girls pitched in with their MD level advice: "take the velcro rollers out of your hair and press your face to the window", "take your Spanx off", "maybe you're allergic to your eyelash glue", "remember that SATC episode when Carrie got a rash from trying on wedding dresses"... I started to feel a little better after that, but I felt tons better when I saw I had missed a call from the one and only, Henry Roth, inviting the girls and I to lunch prior to my appointment. Two things here:

1. How fabulous is that? I used to think that there was nothing more glamorous than applying Chanel No. 5 at the Wynn (wearing one of their fabulous robes) before a VIP night on the Strip, but I was wrong. When a designer of Henry's caliber invites you to lunch... well... then you know what glam really is.

2. I wish that I could write in an Aussie accent because it is so amazingly cheerful, and I cannot help but smile every time he spoke. Seriously. I saved one of his voice mails for when I have a bad day.

I won't bore all of you with the details of us driving into the city because it really was not as eventful as I expected. We didn't really get lost or anything. I did get really excited when we passed through Jersey, but if you know me at all you'd have figured that. Parking wasn't that bad either, and we found our way to our lunch destination just fine.

We rounded the corner onto 20th, and there stood a very well dressed man in a fantastic one-of-a-kind suit. We had that awkward 10 seconds of "I-think-this-is-who-I'm-looking-for-but-I've-never-seen-you-before" before the screaming and giggling commenced (and didn't stop for another four hours).

I even brought Henry some homemade limoncello!

I think I'm going to cut this entry here only because the rest of the story is a whirlwind of laughs, tears and surprises. If I get going on it now this post will be twenty pages long! Buona notte!

Until next time Dolls... Tanti Baci!! xoxo

The "Bridal Brigade" Takes Manhattan (Part 2)

2011-01-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

After a few tweets, a million texts and one phone call with Henry regarding his excitement over his "Bride on wheels!", my mind was set. It took a few days to work out the logistics, but by Friday afternoon we were en route!

The Plan:
Drive from Cleveland to DC to pick up Mama and Red. Leave DC Saturday morning for NYC, and head back later that night. Then, head back to Cleveland Sunday. (20 total hours in the car over three days + countless "gown miles")

The Players:
MOH - My younger sister Stephanie
StoveTop - My childhood friend Amanda (@mandy0514)
Mama - My "berry-best" from high school Shardae
Red - My college housemate, sorority sister, partner-in-crime Lauren

The drive to DC was more accurately a five hour jam session on wheels. Aside from the music, it was a lot of this...

Awesome.

Anyway, things livened up once I was reunited with Red in DC. A giant bottle of Jester's, two bottles of Sangiovese at Two Amys (yum!), and it was just like old times!

All the girls had a great dinner together, reminiscing, planning and thinking about the great adventure that we were going to embark on tomorrow. Eventually, the giggles died down enough for us to get some rest, and I finally fell asleep with images of ball gowns dancing in my head...

Dolls, I can't wait to tell you about NYC because aside from a faceless homeless man telling me he wanted to stab me (SVU anyone?), it was the most wonderful experience of my life!

Until next time dolls... Tanti Baci!! xoxo

The "Bridal Brigade" Takes Manhattan (Part 1)

2011-01-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know what more to say about this weekend, other than it was one of the most wonderful, unforgettable, fabulous weekends of my entire life. Better than when I met Mike Tyson at Caesar's Palace? Absolutely. Chatting it up with Albie Manzo? Definitely. Going to NYC for the Cosmo's Hottest Bachelor contest because I nominated the winner? Getting closer. (By the way, that's a story for another time dolls)...

It all started about two weeks ago when I was "casually" browsing the Kleinfeld's website looking for the perfect wedding gown. I was just getting to that point where I was completely overwhelmed by organza, beading, tulle and lace when... BAM ... there it was. The most elegant, delicate, classic creation I have ever laid eyes on. I had to have it. I NEEDED it. In that instant, Henry Roth became the Starbucks to my Britney Spears, the Charlie Sheen to my Porn Star...

Obviously, I went right to Twitter (@allegedlyfff) with the news that I had found my dress, but it clearly wasn't available in Ohio (what ever is?). Imagine my surprise when Mr. Henry Roth (@1henryroth) tweeted me back! <Insert excited, girly shriek here> Not only did he tweet me back, but he asked me to come meet him at Kleinfeld's. KLEINFELD'S! The absolute mecca of bridal fashion. <Insert even higher pitched shriek>

So, what to do? Apologize to Henry, but traveling to NYC is just impossible on such short notice? Puh-lease. If any of you actually thought I would say "no" to that opportunity just stop reading now because you clearly don't belong. Obviously, I called my girls, packed my bags and started east...

Check back soon for all the details on my champagne-brunch with Henry, the majesty that is Kleinfeld's and just exactly how much Starbucks is needed to fuel 20 hours of driving in one weekend...

Until next time dolls... Tanti Baci!! xoxo

Oh! My loves, I almost forgot! Don't forget to check out my dear Henry's account of our destined meeting: http://www.henryroth.com.au/blog/2011/01/07/the-passion-of-making-it-real-personal-2011-leads-the-way/

The End of an Era

2010-12-30T18:16:00.000-08:00

The day has finally come dolls...

It's time for me to hang up my seven-inch, silver, strappy stilettos because my days of gallivanting down the Strip as a single girl are officially over. Finito.

That's right, Bear (finally) proposed. After three years together he popped the question Christmas Eve on a perfectly romantic horse-drawn sleigh ride...

... and I've even got the rock to prove it...

I am beyond thrilled about entering this new chapter of my life (tentatively titled "A Pretty Girl's Guide to... Marriage?). Not so surprisingly, I have already encountered my first "that would only happen to you" moment involving the forthcoming nuptials. Can't wait to tell you about it lovelies, but I've got a Stella-puppy that needs some lovin'.

Until next time dolls... Tanti Baci!! XOXO

Big Girl Shoes

2010-07-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

Hi Dolls!! I want to introduce you to the newest members to my "Vegas-Only" wardrobe...

I'm in love...

I promise that this post isn't just to show off my new Loubs, they have inspired me to bring an issue that is important to my heart to the masses...

If you cannot wear "big girl shoes" all night, then don't wear them at all.

I have been at way too many dances, weddings. parties where girls have showed up in sky-high heels, only to have them end up under the table with in an hour. This is unacceptable. Don't even get me started on girls that do that in Vegas... I mean, really, do you know how filthy those floors have got to be?

The shoes you show up in should be the shoes you leave in, no matter what. Here are a few tips to help keep your Choos securely on your feet:

If you know it's going to be a long night of dancing make sure it won't be the first time you've worn that stellar pair of stilettos.
To break in your dancing shoes quick just borrow a pair of your boyfriend's athletic socks (theirs tend to be thicker), and walk around the house in them as you get ready. You'll definitely look goofy with thick white socks pouring over your new BCBG pumps, but your toesies will be thanking you later!
If you are an amateur level shoe-wearer (don't be offended, we all have to start somewhere) then wedges are your best bet. They'll still give you the height without the pain.

Now that I have put that out there, I better not see any of you walking out of TAO with your Manolos in your hand.

Until next time dolls... Baci!! XOXO

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamins, "A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas" shows you how to cut to the front of the line line a Vegas Veteran. Check us out at http://www.doinvegas.com/ and follow me @allegedlyfff

A Gentleman's Guide to Vegas (Part 2)

2010-07-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry that this took so long to post, loves. I just started a new job and it has been kicking my Juicy Couture-clad behind this month!

The last two gentlemen on our "panel of experts" have a few things in common:

1. They are both handsome, Italian boys from Jersey
2. They are both adorable in every sense of the word (Seriously. Wait until you see the dimples on these two...)
3. I made a complete ass of myself the first time I spoke to them

...moving on...

The Resident

Name: Chef Geno Bernardo
Vegas Status: Executive Chef at Nove (Palms)

When I was in Vegas the last time, the Dolls and I were so lucky to meet Chef Geno when we were dining at Nove. He was nice enough to overlook the obnoxious-ness of our bellini-fueled ramblings, and treat a few starstruck midwestern girls to some yummy espresso shots, a VIP tour of the kitchen and some very fierce pictures on Nove's luxurious couches. Now this Jersey-born gentleman did me another favor by passing on his expert tips and observations to any man who wants to do Vegas like a pro...

So Geno, how do you think guys prep for Vegas?
-What do you mean prep? Like cooking?
No doll, like what do they pack, what they plan to do…
-I think every guy that comes to Vegas wants to be someone that they can’t be at home. Wearing sunglasses at night. Different clothes... all that.
Any tips for them on how to maximize their Vegas experience? Beside from going to Nove of course.
-Pool parties.... High Society on Sunday....Many hours at strip clubs....Renting Harleys for the day.... A lot of golf and beer pong at Todd English pub.... Girl watching at the Palms

Grazie sweetheart, as always you've been nothing but wonderful! Baci e abbracci!!

Follow Geno on Twitter @ChefGeno and @NoveLV

The Celeb

Name: Albie Manzo

Vegas Status: Celeb (Real Housewives of New Jersey)

Albie... sigh...

Well, any ounce of journalistic integrity that I thought I might have had went right out the window as soon as I got on the phone with this bel ragazzo. The second he told me he was down "at the Shore with the family", I lost my train of thought completely and was sucked in by his "olive oil voice and guinea charm..." I am looking at my notes from our interview and they are just a jumble of words like "PURE, Jet, pool at the Mirage..." (I am guessing his itinerary from his last Vegas trip?) and "Social House - Awesome steak house" (maybe I should give up writing all together...). There also might have been hearts drawn on the corner of my notepad, but I will not confirm or deny.

Even through my wretched (and embarrassing) interviewing skills, Albie was able to give some really great pieces of advice that I cannot stress enough...

Have a plan
Know what you want to do
Go with the right group of people
Let the fun come to you

Those are four of the best tips you can take with you when heading to Vegas. You'll still have a blast... without ending up on the roof of Caesar's Palace.

Oh yea, one more thing Albie didn't want to forget...

"I am going to sound like such a Jersey boy saying this... I can't go without my hair gel."

swoon.

Follow Albie on Twitter @albiemanzo

Until next time dolls... Baci!! XOXO

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamins, "A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas" shows you how to cut to the front of the line line a Vegas Veteran. Check us out at http://www.doinvegas.com/ and follow me @allegedlyfff

A Gentleman's Guide to Vegas (Part 1)

2010-07-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

Quick question, how many of you have seen the following quote as someone's FB status or tweet:

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon."

Approximately a gajillion times? Yea, me too. Don't get me wrong, I love the Hangover, BUT I can imagine that the fine members of the LVPD or the poor people that have to work the front desk at Ceasar's feel a little differently. Seriously, how many times a day do you think they get asked "Is this hotel pager friendly?"

Clearly, going to Vegas trying to act out your own version is probably a pretty bad idea. I don't imagine that many cops will let you off of grand theft auto in exchange for getting tasered. BUT there is definitely nothing wrong with going with your boys! Obviously, I am not an expert on male-bonding trips to Sin City, however, I think I know a few guys who might be...

The Socialite

Name: Patrick Ina

Vegas Status: First Timer

When Patty told me that he would (coincidentally) be in Vegas the same weekend as the dolls and me, I nearly fainted from excitement. He is like a brother to me, and romping down the Strip with him seemed like a dream come true! ... And it was! The vodka-fueled heart to hearts, dance parties and constant VIP status was just the break we needed from the Cleveland scene.
As a Vegas-newbie I was curious to see what advice he could offer to other first timers. The first piece he gave was "Don't get lost in the atmosphere the first night". SO true. Vegas can be super-overwhelming, and that is why I really encourage trying to prepare yourself before hand (more on that later).

Since Pat is also quite the fashionisto, I wanted to see what he would recommend to pack. A few things on his list included: at least one suit, a bathing suit and then simple jeans and t shirts. (If only it was that easy for us girls...)

One last piece of advice from Pat for the gentlemen out there: "Do NOT use your credit/debit card at the strip clubs. Cash only."

Follow Patrick on Twitter @PeePo007

The Man's Man

Name: Adam Sockel (aka Meathead)

Vegas Status: Partner in Crime

One thing I can tell you about Meathead is that I do not know any other (non-celebrity) male that can do Vegas like this kid can. He definitely knows how to capture what he has dubbed "the Vegas state of mind", which he defined as:

"No sleep. Bars til 5am. Martini for breakfast. Blackjack at 7am. Two hundred dollars worth of drinking without dinner and not caring. Dressing to the 9's during the day and the 11's at night. Knowing that anything could happen... and if you're doing it right, it probably will."

The perfect combination of gambling, drinking and living life in the fab lane... just what Vegas was built for.

And, obviously, because it's Meathead we're talking about, he had to leave me with a little piece of girl related advice for the men out there: "Never walk away from a heater, but ALWAYS walk away from a high maintenance blonde."

Amen, doll.

Follow Adam on Twitter @meatheadcincy

The Pro

Name: Joe Salvaggi

Vegas Status: Professional Poker Player

My boy Joe Sal gave me so many good tips that I couldn't narrow them down! Here they are, straight from his Blackberry to mine:

"Two "must haves":
1. Girls. They are key unless you are onVIP lists and/or trying to pay off door-men. You are going to have to wait in line for everything. If you have hot girls with you, you'll get right through the lines. (PGGTV note: It has been my experience that it's 2-4 girls to every 1 guy)

2. Solid shoes and jeans. They look for for a reason not to let dudes into the clubs. Dress shoes and True Religions minimum! (a man after my own heart!) Dress pants work too.

Gambling:
Poker tournaments are the best at the Venetian. The best bang for your buck cash game is the Bellagio all day! All the high rollers are there. Downtown you can find cheap Blackjack ($25 minimum anywhere on the Strip).

Pools:
Poolside doesn't get better than Wet Republic at the MGM. Best adult pool and DJ on the Strip, BUT don't get the smoothies. Too much sugar... bad for the hangover!"

Check back in a few days when I introduce you to the Resident and the Celeb in Part 2!!

Until next time dolls... Baci!! XOXO

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamins, "A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas" shows you how to cut to the front of the line line a Vegas Veteran. Check us out at www.doinvegas.com!!

It Was an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie...

2010-05-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

Lace and snakeskin bikini?

I'm not quite sure that's how the song goes, but I think you get my point.

With Memorial Day a short two weeks away that can mean only one thing for Vegas... pool season darling. So whether you are lounging at Wet Republic or Purvis Park, there is one essential that cannot be overlooked: the perfect bikini.

And no, that bikini you picked up from the Kohl's Grand Opening Sale (seriously how many can they have??) does not count. You need to bring your A-game dolls! You need glitz, you need glamour, you need... Beach Bunny Swimwear.

"Designed for the girl who just wants to have fun, and look lusciously glamorous while she’s at it." (via @BeachBunnySwim) These suits are divine. Pair them with a sassy wedge heel and a pair of over sized shades, and you will be turning heads all day.

Check out some of my favorites below:

She's so California (Top: $165; Bottom: $164)

Lady Lace (Top:$98; Bottom: $100)

Khloe One Piece from Kardashian's for Beach Bunny ($175)

Chain of Fools (Top: $169; Bottom: $150)

And these cover ups are perfect from going straight from the pool to Chef Geno's High Society at Nove for Sunday brunch:

Underneath it All ($229)
Bad Company ($329)

All suits and lounge wear can be found at: www.beachbunnyswimwear.com

Until next time dolls... Baci! XOXO

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamin’s, “A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas” shows you how to cut to the front of the line like a Vegas Veteran. Check us out on http://www.doinvegas.com/ !

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas: Shameless

2010-03-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

shame·less [sheym-lis]
–adjective
1. lacking any sense of shame: immodest; audacious.
2. insensible to disgrace.
3. showing no shame.

—Synonyms

1. brazen, indecent, impudent, bold, unabashed, unashamed.

2. hardened, unprincipled, corrupt.

Used in a sentence: “I’m Mrs. Oh My God, That Britney’s Shameless” – Piece of Me (Yes, I just quoted Britney Spears… that’s journalistic integrity at its finest)

Audacious, brazen, bold… that looks about right.

One thing that I have learned in my trips to Vegas is that sometimes (most of the time) it pays to be unabashedly shameless. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about walking around all day in a shirt designed by J-Woww or making … um… “un-ladylike” promises to gentlemen to get your way. All I am saying is that sometimes that extra courageous step (that you would never make in your home town) can turn an average Vegas night into something much more.

To use the term invented by Alice in Wonderland, I always feel like I have more “much-ness” as soon as my stilettos hit the strip. Maybe it’s the desert air… or the bright lights… or the fact that public intoxication is encouraged. Regardless, being a little shameless in Vegas has always paid off for my dolls and me. Here are some examples from my most recent trip…

The Unashamed:

The first time I met JT Vegas to discuss adding “A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas” to http://www.doinvegas.com/ he asked me where some of my favorite places in Vegas were. When I told him that my favorite place to “slum it” was the Harrah’s outdoor bar he told me “never, ever tell anyone that… ever”. Sorry JT, but the dolls and I just can’t help but love this place. While I would never suggest spending an entire night there (for your liver’s sake) it is the perfect stop mid-Strip for some day drinking. The bartenders are extremely talented and hilarious, the crowd looks like they just left a Toby Keith concert or a Nascar Race and the drinks are reasonable. It’s not pretentious, and just the perfect place to let your hair down and get after it with your friends.

True story: The dolls and I were taking turns playing blackjack at one of their outdoor tables (so fun) and we were sitting next to a gentleman who was clearly flaunting his money. He kept telling each of us that he was an oilman, and to finish a rig he needed to write a check for nearly $400,000 the next day. He was obvi BSing because if you have that kind of money you would be sitting in the high rollers’ room at the Bellagio, not at a $10 minimum table at Harrah’s. You know what shut him up? “Hey Mr. Oilman, want to buy me a pair of Manolos? What’s another grand right?”

If you are feeling extra shameless order a BJ shot… totes not what you would expect so prepare yourself to get a little messy.

The Bold:

The first night we were in Vegas I had already gotten us set up with VIP to PURE at Caesar’s Palace, but after discussing the plans over some martinis we decided a change in venue was in order, especially with Thursday being a big night at TAO. I was a little concerned at first because we weren’t on any list, and didn’t even have any VIP cards on us at that point. “Oh well,” I thought as we climbed onto the escalator in the Venetian. “We’ll deal when we get there.”

1 minute later we had our wristbands and hand stamps. How? Well, I found a guy in a suit, positioned myself in front of him and proceeded to look like I was mulling over a big decision.

This conversation followed:

“Did you girls want to get in line to get in?”

“Well, actually, we have VIP at PURE tonight, but we heard TAO was the place to be on Thursdays. We don’t wait in line though”

“Um… ugh… we are kind of busy tonight.”

“No problem! See you later this weekend… maybe.”

“Hold on. (grabs clipboard and chats on earpiece) Right this way ladies.”

A little threat never hurt anyone.

The Indecent:

If you are going to Vegas with your girls I have only one thing to say: Stripper 101.
Located at Planet Hollywood in the V Theater it is an absolute must. While I admittedly failed lap-dancing miserably, I took to the pole like a natural. It’s a great work out, there is a bar (necessary) and you will never laugh so hard. Not to mention, from what I hear, there is nothing like the look on your cab drivers face when you tell him to hurry up because you are “late for stripper class”.

I now have my Official Stripper License under the name “Bunni”… yes, with an “I”.

The Brazen:

I can once again thank the Palms for giving me the very best night of my Vegas trip. I could, and probably will soon, write an entire article on how amazing the Palms truly is. I was lucky enough to get in contact with Palms VIP Girl (http://www.palmsvipgirl.com/) who set me up with a comped dinner at Nove and table/bottle service at RAIN before I even left Cleveland. Thanks Shawna!

Brazen enough as it was to get those little gems from the Palms prior to arrival, it was nothing compared to what happened once we got there. I think pictures will be the best way to describe this night...

I highly recommend the strawberry-passion fruit bellini made with prosecco... yum!

Pizza, ravioli, and Italian-Stallions...

Here is where the brazen comes in... We kept seeing this mohawk-ed man in a chef's coat walking by, so I say to my Vegas P.I.C. FashionFace "I think that is Chef Geno... the head chef here." Well now we obviously need to meet him (you should all know that I am enthralled with cooking and get totally starstruck by amazing chefs... just ask Michael Symon). Next time he walks by our table let out an adorable chorus of "Chef Geno! Can we have a picture?" Like a true gentleman he obliged...

Then treated us to a round of delish espresso shots...

Then took us through the kitchen...

And finally showed us his "Door of Fame"... which sadly we were not allowed to sign, but a girl can dream. ***Side note: I'll have more from Chef Geno in a later post because he was sweet enough to grant me an interview. Lo manco Chef Geno...Il mio gusto preferito***

From there we were "requested" at the Playboy Club. P.S. Best bathroom in Vegas!

Then we headed to RAIN to enjoy our comped bottle of Kettle One...

And finally ended it with a ride in a Lambo... obviously.

How could anyone not love it there?

Until next time dolls... Baci! XOXO

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamin’s, “A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas” shows you how to cut to the front of the line like a Vegas Veteran. Check us out on http://www.doinvegas.com/ !

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas: Introduction

2010-03-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night. ~Chuck Palahniuk

Las Vegas, Nevada is to adults what Disneyworld is to children... only better. The first time I saw the bright lights of the strip glittering in the middle of the desert from my airplane window seat my life changed for good. I was ten, and I was absolutely, one-hundred percent, head-over-heels in love. I knew in that moment that there was no place I would want to spend my adult life more than in Sin City, something that I didn't hesitate to tell anyone when I got back to my boring, mid-sized, mid western city. Imagine the look on my parents faces when they saw my "What I want to be when I grow up..." poster at my 6th grade open house, and it was me dealing blackjack at Ceasar's Palace (at least I wasn’t cocktailing…)

Saying that I love Vegas is an understatement. When I am there I feel home, I feel the energy of the strip itself, and most importantly, I feel fabulous.

Now that I have filled you in on the back story (which was basically to explain that I am literally in the throes of a love affair with a city) we can get to the point of A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas. There is a way to do Vegas correctly. Treat Vegas with the respect that it deserves and it will show you things that you never dreamed possible. Here are some tricks of the trade for how to enjoy Vegas in style (while spending very little of your own money):

Vegas will never be as good as it was back in the day (like Sinatra back in the day), and as the younger generation we should do what we can to bring it back to its glory. This means: DRESS TO IMPRESS. As far as I am concerned anyone sporting a fanny pack or a visor of any kind should have their Vegas rights revoked. Dress up during the day, and dress to the nines at night. You never know who you will run into.
Talk to EVERYONE. Those guys who seem obnoxious when they run up to you at the slots in the MGM? Yeah, they'll get your name on a VIP list. There are multiple levels of these "scouts". The first will be handing out business card type passes that will waive your cover. These are great, but you can do better. Keep your eyes out for the other kind. The ones with the clip boards who give you their cell phone number. These scouts, from my experience at least, are generally pretty girls themselves. Their job is to find gorg girls walking around the strip during the day, and get them to come to TAO, XS, Moon, wherever to sit with the high rollers buying bottle service. If you meet enough of these people your first day, you can plan out your whole vacay before dinner at Nove (which I highly recommend, but that’s for a later post). Talk to the bartenders and the randoms sitting at the bars. One of the best times I had in Vegas was chatting it up with a bartender named Dennis Donato and some guy who sat down with us at a sidebar at the Bellagio. Plus side, the random guy ended up covering my friend’s and my bill just because we were nice.
Have PATIENCE. This is important. If you are a girl in Vegas, you DO NOT have to pay for drinks/covers or wait in line. All you have to do it stand there, look good, smile, and talk about how hungry/thirsty/whatev you are. True story: After leaving PURE one night my friend and I were starving. In order to test my theory on doing Vegas for free, I went and stood in the middle of a crowd of people and said loudly to my friend "Oh my God I am so hungry", and like a fashionista at a Gucci trunk sale these two gentlemen appear at our sides to take us out for food. By the end of late-night dinner they had given us Visa giftcards to shop with and paid for a limo to take us back to where we were staying.

That being said, there are certain things that you will need to pay for, but that does not mean you have to chose between a new pair of Louboutin’s and your dream trip to Vegas. Just book your hotel/limos/shows/restaurants through http://www.doinvegas.com/ . Cheapest prices around, and they have the inside track to the hottest clubs in Vegas.
Be POLITE. Please. These guys are dropping some serious bank to pay for your drinks, dinner, gambling, limos etc., so say thank you. Pretend to be interested in what they are saying even if you aren't actually interested in anything else about them. Granted, most of the guys that go to Vegas would like to hook up, but the majority of them will be happy just to have a bunch of pretty girls at their table. I should point out that if Mr. Software Engineer turns into Mr. Grabby Hands find the biggest bouncer near you and have them tell him to kick rocks... then claim the bottle of Goose as your own. (Note: bouncers will be your best friends so be super polite to them. They will escort you to the bathroom so you don't have to fight the crowd, pour your drinks for you, and walk you back to your room if you aren't feeling well. Tip them and thank them). Pretty girls are a dime a dozen in Vegas, but pretty girls who are fun and nice are hard to come by.
It will also help your cause significantly if you can roll with a group of gorgeous girls like these...

Faces blurred because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

In a city of beautiful people, bright lights and Benjamin’s, “A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas” shows you how to cut to the front of the line like a Vegas Veteran. Check us out on http://www.doinvegas.com/ !

Baci! XOXO

Sarah Johnson,
Vegas Vixen

PVD - Post Vegas Depression

2010-03-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Home again.

Between the time difference, the weather and the lack of fabulous-ness in my life right now I am completely disoriented. I have been back about 18 hours, and I already miss it. I miss the lights, the sounds, the free 5 star meals and the uber-expensive cab rides.

First off, I want to apologize for not blogging like I promised (well promised that I would "try"). The Wynn's internet was not exactly compatible with my computer, and even when it was the amount they charged to use it was not compatible with my bank account.

Secondly, due to a fantastic business opportunity that I am super excited about (more details later), my next few posts may seem repetitive. I will be re-vamping my Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas with new tips and stories, but keeping some of the older stuff in there that still stands.

**With this new business venture looming, I am looking for some serious input from my readers. Any questions/comments/thoughts about Vegas or a girl getting ready for vacation? Let me know by commenting here or emailing me at allegedlyfff@gmail.com**

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas: Packing and Posing

2010-03-03T07:25:00.000-08:00

"I don't rely on mirrors, so I always take Polaroids." - Cher Horowitz

Dolls, the time has come. I will be landing in Las Vegas in approximately 27 hours, and it is already shaping up to be the trip of the decade. Some things the girls and I have planned:

VIP at Pure
Dinner at Nove
Table/Bottle Service at Rain
Dinner at Mastro's
Stripper 101

Oh, and please note that 4 out of those 5 things have already been comped. As my dear friend told me, "You love Vegas, and obviously the feeling is mutual".

So at this point, I am tanned, toned and so very ready to be reunited with the city of my dreams. Only thing left to do is pack.

Ugh.

I don't know about you, but I abhor packing (probably because I am terrible at it). No matter how many lists I make, it always becomes a disaster. I vowed that this time would be different though. So what was my game plan? Well, I decided to take a page out of the book of Clueless and take Polaroids.

...And since I love you all so much here is a little taste of what I will attempt to fit into a single suitcase...

The shoes... wedges, stilettos and sandals (Oh my!), but no flats allowed.

Shoes from left to right: Steve Madden, Nordstrom, Nordstrom, Bebe, Victoria Secret, Guess, BCBG

The dresses... some for day and some for night...

Dresses from left to right: Arden B, Nordstrom, Bebe (shoes), Young Fabulous and Broke, BCBG

Check back this week as I (attempt) to blog my trip as it happens. Another run in with Mike Tyson? God I hope so.

Disclaimer: Miss Informed will attempt to blog every morning, but no promises because once the Grey Goose touches her lips... well... let's just say that anything is game.

Bloopers: Got caught up in a wrestling match between Stella and StoveTop's puppy Sam "The Situation"

He Said/She Said: Fashion... from a Man's Perspective

2010-02-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

I think Goose and Meathead need to write a co blog on how men feel about fashion pitfalls like muffin tops and ridiculously faux handbags...the man's perspective and the fashionistas perspective...
-StoveTop

Alright Goose, I really think your readers enjoy making me look like a fool by having us write about things I know nothing about. Come on guys, I can make myself look stupid!!! In the interest of humor and debate I'll try my best. I make zero promises.

When it comes to fashion I pretend to have a little bit of an idea on how to dress but really it just boils down to two things for me: 1.) I wear what I think looks good and 2.) I tend to find things that stand out. I love thermals. Be they of the hoodie variety or half button, they're a major weapon in my arsenal. (He thinks they make him look muscle-y) I also love my scarves (duh) and my fantastic hat collection. I'm seriously like the kid from Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. (For the 3 people who get that joke, you're welcome). Also, bright colors tend to show up rather often. I think I have a respectable wardrobe but it's almost entirely based on the fashion skills of my mother and girlfriend... honestly. When it comes to women's fashion I'll be honest, I don't understand most of what's popular. Thankfully I have Goose. I can't imagine dropping near 4 digits on a bag; Goose helps me understand the value of such a thought. I think Ugg boots are a complete joke and every time someone wears them I want to kick them in the face...with my real boots. The worst thing in my mind though is girls who wear outfits that are completely unflattering but I'll let Goose jump in before I start to ramble...

Oh, Meathead, as usual you were distracted by your glorious “trendy hat” collection and muscle henleys. Let’s try and focus your creative juices. You have already given your opinion on UGG boots. As much as it pains me to agree (because they are so damn comfortable), they are far from stylish. I will say that I continue to wear mine to and from the gym and on occasion to the dog park. In my defense, it’s Cleveland and it’s cold. I would like to get your opinion on some other fashion “issues”. Let’s get a gentleman’s perspective on…

Leggings and the new “jeggings” (jean leggings)
Fake purses/expensive designers
Muffin Tops (do you really notice?)
Chains and studs that have made appearances as of late
These glorious Chanel tattoos that FashionFace and I will be sporting...
http://www.chanel.com/en_US/fragrance-beauty/Makeup-Accessories-LES-TROMPE-L%27OEIL-DE-CHANEL-89753

So much pressure here. Speaking for men everywhere is not easy. I knew I was getting off track. Thank you for reeling me back in. Let's see here…

Leggings- Personally, not a fan. This isn't 1982 and for an extra ten bucks you could've bought the rest of the pants. I'm guessing the reasoning is people want to wear skirts and such in the winter? Yes/no? If so, guess what... the winter isn't skirt season. Wear some pants and wait till spring.

Purses- ok, I'll admit that they're a necessary evil. I'll never understand why they have to be so expensive and they seem to be getting bigger and bigger but I have seen ones I don't mind. That being said, there are far too many gaudy and hideous ones out there and I do agree about the fake ones. If you can't afford an $800 purse that's ok, but you don't need to pretend like you can. Shopping for deals is a skill, not something to be ashamed of. If you got something awesome from Kohl's then don't shy away from that.

Muffin tops- I do notice. If you want to wear something tight, work out. Get in shape. A little vanity is ok. I like wearing tight shirts now and then so guess what I do... Go to the gym. I know I probably sound like a jerk but it is what it is. No one wants to see you wearing a tube top or showing off your midriff if it's doing just that... drifting. In fact, why not use the small clothes you want to wear as motivation? I know tons of girls who say, "I'm going to get into blah blah blah swimsuit this year" and so they bust their butts to do so. To those girls I say kudos and keep on keepin on.

Be more specific for "Chains and studs" please...remember I'm very uncool so I don't know what it means.

The tattoo one is interesting. As a big fan of tattoos, having two with a few more possibly in mind, I think they're pretty cool. Some people say their body is a temple. Mine's more of a template. I like how you can express things using ink. That being said, fashion is fleeting so putting something permanent on your body for the "spring season" is a bit unintelligent so I say good decision Goose. I think you'll pull it off well. This is hard... I feel like I'm taking a standardized test with no right answers. Ok what's next?

Some fashionistas would argue that leggings are the new denim… so, in essence, they would be wearing pants. Thoughts?

Studs:

Untitled by allegedlyfff featuring Prada bags

You’re doing fine so far…

What about shoes? The higher the better or for comfort first and foremost?

No... In essence they're wearing over the top knee high socks. I'm sure that came out wrong. Also denim is denim. This whole "Blank is the new Blank" thing needs to stop. 40s the new 30... No 30 is still 30, 40 is still 40.

Studs- Ok I see what you mean now. I guess they're ok. Nothing wrong with a little bling. SO are studs the new rhinestones? See what I did there. It's called a joke, just not a very good one.

Shoes- Again, I'm going to take a beating for this but I've got a story for every girl out there. I have a beautiful girlfriend who happens to be around 5'11 or roughly a half inch shorter then I am. This means she doesn’t get to wear heals very often because she feels awkward for being taller than me. I blame DNA. While in Vegas she decided she was going to get "super cute" shoes for the whole weekend which I completely respect. The first day she wore shoes that were just a bit too big and ended up with blisters and painful feet. Then on our 2nd night she wore heals to a concert. They weren't huge but heals nonetheless. By the end of the night her feet hurt so bad that she was walking barefoot in our hotel back to the room. Granted some drinks were involved but my question is what good is a shoe if it's going to debilitate you, regardless of how cute they are? I could write a book on how I'll never understand women's shoe choices. I honestly do get the appeal and if you can deal with it then awesome but at the end of the day I just felt bad for her because she clearly was not comfortable. All that being said a girl at the concert did tell her how cute the shoes were so I suppose it's all worth it? Ugh I'm such a boy...

At least she didn’t take them off. I have a very strict policy regarding stilettos… if you are going to wear big-girl shoes then you need to be a big girl and keep them on all night.

What about the bootie/cuffed sandal trend?

What the hell is a bootie sandal? Picture please

Untitled by allegedlyfff featuring Camilla Skovgaard shoes

THAT is not a boot. Or a bootie. Or a sandal for that matter. That looks like a ridiculously uncomfortable shoe. It's not even nice looking. Are they all like that because if so that's terrible and has no place on anyone’s foot ever.

Can you think of anything women’s fashion-wise that you would like to cover?

Earrings are kind of annoying but not nearly as thought provoking as the others... and just how long women can take to get ready but I’d get yelled at discussing that so I think we're good for now

So there we have it. A man's take on fashion and faux pas. For more from Meathead at:

http://cincyexperience.blogspot.com/

Also, we'd love to hear from you guys! Leave some comments or find us on twitter! Love!

This Needs to End

2010-02-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

... this is something that I just need to get off of my chest, so if you are wondering if this is going to be one of those ranting posts... I would say yes, yes it is.

There is nothing that irks me more than designer impostor purses, except maybe for the people who carry them and think they are fooling someone. I very literally had to be restrained at a recent "purse party" to keep me from calling the cops.

Let me clarify before everyone gets all "Well-not-just-anyone-can-afford-LV" (me neither by the way), I'm not saying that you have to carry a designer bag. Some of them aren't even that great (I'm looking at you See by Chloe). You know who does have cute bags? Target, Express, etc. Better to buy one of those than a knock off. My issue is with the people who want the look of a designer bag without paying for it. There is a word for that... it's called cheating.

I have a few things to say to those undesirables:

I worked for a luxury purse store for years, you know what our favorite past time was? Picking out the fake bags that walked by in the mall. Then laughing. You should know that.
With that in mind, you should also consider that the people you are trying to trick into thinking that you are on their level (ie: The extremely fierce women who frequent Saks, Neimen Marcus, or sit front row at Fashion Week) will know the difference. They will also laugh at you.
A quote from the Coach website that very eloquently states other issues with knock offs: " The counterfeiters illegally profit at the expense of Coach and affect the entire economy through lost revenues and taxes. In addition, counterfeiters do not typically honor safety and environmental regulations, namely child labor and anti-sweatshop laws. Without a doubt, the high quality and workmanship embodied in genuine Coach product is not duplicated in the counterfeit product; counterfeit quality is typically poor."
Buying impostor bags supports child labor, poor economy, terrorism, shamelessness and an unforgivable level of tackiness. I hope your Goach bag was worth it.

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas: Preparation (2 weeks)

2010-02-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

In exactly 16 days I will be landing in the fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. I am going with quite possibly the best group of people ever assembled, and Vegas-Prep is in full effect. I wrote about a month ago about what preparations I was starting for this trip, but as game time draws nearer it's really time to buckle down. So here are some great two-weeks-out tips...

Take some advice from Kanye (All the mocha lattes you gotta do Pilates..) and get on a work out plan. An intense one if you can stand it. Vegas pool season will not be going strong when we get there, but the Palms (love it there) will be opening their the weekend my friends and I get there. That means swimsuits ladies. Even if you can avoid the pool atmosphere do you really want to be caught without a bikini when Mr. Reality TV Star Du jour invites you to go hot tubbing.

bathing suits10 by allegedlyfff featuring Victoria's Secret swimwear

Items in this set:
Phuket cutout coined swimsuit, $340
Victoria's Secret - Very Sexy® Swim, $88
Victoria's Secret - Very Sexy® Swim, $68
Victoria's Secret - Bikini Swimsuits, $42
L*SPACE, black bikini

Make plans. I'm not saying you have to have a strict itinerary, but it is really easy to get sidetracked/overwhelmed. Make a list of the things your friends and you want to do, and the general days and costs you plan on doing them. It's a great way to plan your finances for the trip as well. Number one on our list this year was Stripper 101. It's supposed to be a blast and a great workout.
Use your contacts. We haven't even gotten to Vegas yet and we already have a comped dinner at one of the hottest new restaurants on the strip and VIP treatment at the Palms waiting for us. I am the queen of shameless when it comes to asking places "what can you do for me?", and as long as you are polite about it most places have been extremely accommodating (when you are surrounded by gorgeous sorority girls they tend to be that way). Last time we were in Vegas scouts were literally arguing with each other in the Luxor over "who saw them first". That reminds me though... PURE, Besos and EVE, what can you do for us?

More to come dolls.

Gaga + Lauper = Delish

2010-02-13T20:52:00.000-08:00

In Spring 2010 MAC Cosmetics will be releasing the latest installment of their VIVA GLAM line, which will include their continuous shades with the addition of two colors inspired by Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper, the newest faces of the VIVA GLAM campaign. This alone would be marvelous, but also keep in mind that every cent of the selling price of VIVA GLAM Lipstick and Lipglass is donated to the M·A·C AIDS Fund to support men, women, and children living with HIV and AIDS.

So if you're a Cyndi-fan, a Gaga-monster or someone who appreciates the plumping power of MAC lipglass (read: me) then buy away my loves! At $14 a stick you can't go wrong!

http://www.macaidsfund.org/

Viva Glam by allegedlyfff on Polyvore.com

Nonna was an HBIC

2010-02-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

You read that right my Great-Grandma was the Head-Bitch-in-Charge. She lived to be 101 years old, and wore leopard print and heels to the very end. The picture to the right is her at her ONE HUNDREDTH birthday wearing a gold chain worthy of Ice T.

I like to think that I am a lot like her. Similar taste in fashion, great cooks, family-oriented and spicy. Yes, if Non was anything it was spicy. Here are a few stories of Great-Grandma Grassi, for no reason other than I like to tell them. Some are long, some are short, but all of them show what an incredible woman she was...

Nonna was born in 1906 in Avezzano, Italy (tiny little village), and when she was only a few years old there was a horrible earthquake in which their house collapsed on top of her and her entire family who were all sleeping in the same bed at the time. Her parents died, but Non and her sister survived for THREE days until someone was able to rescue them. I can't go three days without my Blackberry let alone food and water. Sidenote to this story: This is the same region that was hit with that devastating earthquake last year and my thoughts and prayers are still with the families effected by that quake.
After the earthquake she was sent to live in an orphanage. She decided she didn't like it there, but she more or less needed to get kicked out to be able to leave. So what does she do? She poisoned the pig. I don't know how or with what, but she must have been resourceful.
This is by far my favorite story about Nonna, and the best part about it is that she had to have already been 80-something when it happened. So, Non decided that she wanted to buy a gift for my cousin John Paul for his birthday, and being the rebel that she was she planned on taking the bus downtown, by herself, and without telling anyone, to do this. She gets downtown fine and buys her gift. As she is getting back on the bus to come home this man comes up behind her and tries to grab her coin purse. Now, Non was about 4'11" and maybe 90lbs soaking wet so she had to have given it up right? Not a chance. She holds onto the purse and starts yelling at him "You sumova-beech! Getta job! You lazy sumova-beech" (for those who don't speak "old-italian-lady-broken-english" that means "You son of a bitch! Get a job! You lazy son of a bitch!"). Next thing you know the guy gets this terrified look on his face and runs away. Nonna sits down on the bus feeling pretty proud, and goes home.

A few months later...

Papa J is at the store and he runs into an old friend that he used to pour concrete with. Mr. Concrete says "You know, I saw your Grandma downtown a few months ago, is she okay?" My Daddy had no idea what he was talking about so Mr. Concrete elaborates "Yea, me and my guys were patching the road downtown and we see your Grandma getting mugged at the bus stop so we grabbed our shovels, hammers, whatever and started chasing him." So, later Papa J asked Nonna what had happened as she said "That sumova-beech tried to take-a my money. I tell him he lazy and getta job! I scare him good, Michael, he ran away. Try to take-a my money? Sumova beech." Daddy never did have the heart to tell her that it wasn't really her that scared the sumova-beech.

Side by side – Year by year

2010-02-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

Mark Twain - 25th Wedding Anniversary Quote

Twenty-five years ago today high school sweethearts Spark and Moose were married at Sacred Heart Church in Cleveland, OH in front of a multitude of friends and even more family. The reception was a memorable one, and from what I've heard no one will ever be able to top the bridal party...one of the bridesmaids ripped the bottom of her dress off with her teeth because she kept falling over it, and Spark's twin brother was pulled over on the way to the after party with a tapped keg in the front seat (lucky for him the cop was on his way to the same party).

Oh, I should probably mention that these two characters are my parents.

With all the love and life in me, I wish a happy anniversary to the ones who...

pushed me through when I thought I couldn't go any further...

gave me two sisters to love...

carried me when needed...

supported me in everything...

taught me to give back without expecting something in return...

and showed me the strength and compassion that it takes to love someone forever.

Happy anniversary!

Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget

2010-02-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

Papa J has always told me that I have "champagne taste on a beer budget" and because he is pretty much right, I have always had to find "work-arounds" to get what I wanted. When I wanted a new designer bag in college, but could in no way afford it, did I settle on Target totes? Absolutely not. I kiss-assed my way into a job at a high-end purse retailer and a 50% discount. The job paid for school and my closet full business bags, hobos and clutches. The point is to never settle ladies, you're better than that. Use your head, and there is always a way to get it done...

In September 2009, I got my first "gig" as an event planner (not my 8-5 job, but definitely my passion). It was to plan the bridal shower for my Cugino's fiance. My mind started going wild with over-the-top ideas. Garden party with rose centerpieces? A Bollywood themed bash catered by my favorite up-and-coming chef? An traditional Italian menu with a DJ so we can dance the tarantella until our stilettos fall off?

Sadly, it was soon clear that none of those were options. It turns out that this shower would need to be pulled off with a minuscule budget, and fast. I still wanted this to be a classy affair so I had to focus my thoughts to things that would be unquestionably elegant, and yet fairly simple. The list looked something like this:

Tiffany's
Audrey Hepburn
Vino
Hors d'oeuvres

Breakfast at Tiffany's was the obvious answer, and this movie classic became my jumping off point and theme. Take a look at some of the pictures from the shower, and my tips to throwing an Audrey-worthy affair on a budget:

Wine is a necessity at my family gatherings. Charles Shaw (Two-Buck-Chuck) is a great choice of vino for large soirees with small budgets. A $3-$4 a bottle ($30-something for a case) it is a steal, and tastes delish. Also, if you don't feel like advertising your money saving choice, print personalized lables from your computer for added flair.

I chose to make two different centerpieces. At different heights and sizes it gives variety and gives the illusion of a bigger space.

This centerpiece was made with foam, wrapping paper, ribbon and a simple faux engagement ring.

This is the full table setting. I added a Tiffany-blue table runner to brighted up a white table linen. Much cheaper than renting colored linens.

I pulled old Tiffany boxes and bags out of my jewelry box. See? Recycling is good for the planet and your wallet!

The gift table was scatter with jeweled paper weights, a matching table runner, and I made the card box in a Tiffany's box likeness to coordinate it to the rest of the tables.

Due to the itsy-bitsy budget I also catered the shower. Homemade Bruschetta is a cheap, but tasty, dish for any get together. Buy day-old bread from the baker to save even more (the crunch and hardness of the bread actually works better with the tomato topping).

Inside of the martini glass centerpiece. Tiffany+pearls+diamonds=decadence

The bride and myself. One thing that even a control freak like me could not reign in was the torential downpour that took place prior to the outdoor shower. A helpful family and a very large tent were there to save the day though. Sadly, nothing could be done to save my hair.

He Said/She Said: A Decent Proposal

2010-02-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

Goose and Meathead,

I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend soon and I need some legit advice on this one. I want to spend the rest of my life with her but I know the start of our life together is very important. I'm going on a vacation with her soon and so I want to know, with Valentine's Day coming up... Should I propose then, on vacation, or some other time? Thanks guys

-anon-

Dear God do not propose on Valentine’s Day. I’m not saying that just because of my feelings on the holiday (see previous post), but mostly because it is tacky and impersonal. Not to mention if you plan on proposing in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day you will probably be at least the 5th one to do it that night. Unless you first met/dated/kissed on Valentine’s Day it is probably not a good idea.

Vacation is a pretty safe bet if you are going somewhere of importance to both of you… actually it really only has to be important to her. The only downside to that is you’ll have to wait to get home to spread the news. If you are going with friends though then it’s the perfect time because the celebrating can commence immediately!

Other solid places to propose would be where you first met/had your first date/first kissed, but the key with those is you have to be super creative. For example, Mama confided in me that since her first date was at the Zoo she would want her would-be-fiancé to create a scavenger hunt throughout the Zoo including her family and friends until it finally led her to him, where he would then propose.

Meathead, when you decide to grow up, how do you plan on asking?

Marriage... (shudder)
I'm siding with Goose on the whole do not do it on Valentine's Day thing. It's cheesy pretty much regardless of the scenario. Personally I think anywhere in the public eye is a bit lame. (well you’re lame) I never understood why people feel the need to propose in a restaurant in front of complete strangers. Are you that attention starved? Another thing I can't figure out for the life of me is why guys do it at stadiums or arenas. Yes, it works for Colt McCoy but he has just a bit more history at Texas stadium. Colt-good, anyone else- bad. When it comes to wedding proposals I think it's starting to get out of hand. Every guy is trying to top whatever someone else did and it's getting a little ridiculous. A vacation is alright I suppose, but I think it's more romantic to do it when you get back from the vacation and you're just hanging out together, alone.
Whenever it is my time I'll most likely go the traditional route. Secretly go talk to proposee's father and ask for his permission then I'm thinking just getting down on one knee in my apartment after having a nice meal together. This is surely one of the topics we'll differ on though so Goose, being a bit more extravagant then me, what would be your perfect place to get proposed to?

Oh my God! I can’t believe I forgot to say that!! Nice catch Meathead! Please gentlemen, ask her father for her hand. I cannot stress how important this is to most girls. It just shows such respect for her family. I would have to say “no” to any man if he did not get the okay from Papa J first. Not to mention what Papa J would then do to you…

Oh the perfect proposal… well, and I am probably standing alone among women with this one, but I would have to say in front of the Bellagio water show on the Vegas strip surrounded by friends and family. To me, it’s just magical.

Goose, I'd LOVE to say that this surprises me but honestly I can't say I'm surprised. I could see that being pretty cool, especially because in Vegas you see things interesting stuff basically every second so it wouldn't turn into a huge embarrassing ordeal but I'm still going traditional. However, I'm definitely pulling an Ashton from that new terrible looking V-day movie and yelling "SHE SAID YES!!" out my window after the fact... ya know, if in fact, she said yes.

You could probably sweeten your odds by giving her one of these...

Breakfast at Tiffany's by allegedlyfff featuring Kohl's rings

Items in this set:
Tiffany & Co. | Engagement Rings | Round Brilliant Ribbon Ring, $9,050
engagement ring., $2,050
Tiffany Lucida engagement ring
TIffany Engagement Ring
Audrey Hepburn Picture #1646322 - 454 x 706 - FanPix.Net

To read more from Meathead go to: http://cincyexperience.blogspot.com/

Be my Valentine? Doubtful.

2010-02-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

There is no delicate way to say this… I hate Valentine’s Day. In fact, I don’t just hate it. I loathe it, despise it, and dread it every year. Now, I am not one of those people who hate it because it’s a “lame corporate holiday” or it’s “consumerism at its worst”. In fact I can’t stand people who vocalize their dislike for this holiday because of those reasons. It makes you sound like a pretentious ass (you know who you are).

Anyway, my reasons are far more personal. As a person who regularly is involved in “that would only happen to you” situations (attempted murder via spray tan, concussion from falling on my butt, hanging out with O-Town… all true), Valentine’s Day just seems to be even more cursed for me than any regular day. The things that happen to me on that day (or in the vicinity of) include death, heartbreak, natural disasters, and being taken to Taco Bell for Valentine’s Day dinner… oh, and then being given a USED copy of Office Space.

So while I am waiting for the universe to play another cruel joke on me, here are some of my favorite new pieces that really say “f-ck you Valentine’s Day” with aggressive bangles, studs, chains, leather and ferosh detail.

Items in this set:
Givenchy'>http://www.polyvore.com/givenchy_top_chain/thing?.embedder=1235985&.mid=embed&id=13438821">Givenchy Top Chain, 240 EUR
Married'>http://www.polyvore.com/married_to_mob_money_shirt/thing?.embedder=1235985&.mid=embed&id=7830448">Married to the Mob The Money T-Shirt in Black with Purple, T-shirts..., $35
Alexander'>http://www.polyvore.com/alexander_wang_suede_biker_jacket/thing?.embedder=1235985&.mid=embed&id=12102118">Alexander Wang Suede biker jacket, $825
Gucci'>http://www.polyvore.com/gucci_2010_spring_summer_womens/thing?.embedder=1235985&.mid=embed&id=14157505">Gucci - 2010 Spring Summer women's shoes, $1,390
Metropark'>http://www.polyvore.com/metropark_melie_bianco_black_studded/thing?.embedder=1235985&.mid=embed&id=13646613">Metropark / Melie Bianco / Black Studded Clutch, $49

He Said/She Said: I think we've got a Situation

2010-01-27T13:41:00.001-08:00

Alright Jersey Shore, pull a chair up to table; you’re about to have some knowledge dropped on you. I’m going to preface this rant by saying I have never watched the show and never will but more on that later on. Despite not ever watching even a minute of “Jersey Shore” or even seeing a commercial for it I know exactly what it is and that alone is enough to make me angry but people watch it so whatever, it’s a passing fad that for reasons to be mentioned soon I hate but I could deal with it… Until last night. That’s when, while celebrating my birthday our group of friends were trying to decide where to go on Saturday night when a bomb got dropped. Apparently, we can’t go to Lodge Bar (a popular Cincinnati place) because Mike “The Situation” will be making an appearance and it would take like 3 hours to get a drink. Now, it’s bad enough that those no talent ass-clowns (thank you Michael Bolton) are on T.V. but now they’re inconveniencing my life directly. Gooses please proceed to give me your reasons for liking this clusterf%$k of a show so I can crush them…

Looks like we’ve got a situation…Meathead, first I need to correct you on something… this is not a passing fad doll face. My favorite guidos and guidettes just signed for a second season! (PS I am super-juiced right now).

Now, as for why I absolutely adore this show…

-I die for stereotypes… mostly because I am/have been one at some point in my life. Let me tell you what my plans are for this weekend: go to the gym, get my nails done, tan, do laundry. Sound familiar? G(N)TL babe. Have I ever spent an entire Sunday making enough sauce to feed an army while simultaneously teaching my roommates the best way to chop garlic? Assolutamente! Stereotype? Check.

-Another thing I can’t look away from? Train wrecks. Also because I have been a train wreck at least once in my life. I think everyone has, but we are just lucky enough to get to see theirs’ every Thursday night.

-Meathead, you’re not going to like this, but my favorite thing about the Jersey Shore is their top priority is each other. Regardless of what anyone says those kids put family above all else, and they include each other in that “family” aspect. In the Italian culture la famiglia is your family, friends, food, life, heritage, traditions, backbone... Yes, they went out, got bombed, and fist pumped like champs, but they also sat down to dinner together and showed a loyalty that you don’t see much anymore. There were a lot of fights this season, but most of them were due to one of the cast members standing up for another one. When J Woww tried to sucker punch that puttana for called Snooki fat, instead of condemning her I wished that she would have landed it so she would have “done justice”.

Just a little FYI for your next response- please remember that I have never watched the show so tone down your references. Stereotypes are fine but these guys are ridiculous. Don't go giving me the whole yeah they're a train wreck but I really watch it because they're so close-knit and stand up for each other. Please. If family was the reason everyone tuned in then Family Matters, Step by Step, and Full House would still be the Friday night ABC line up. They make jackasses of themselves. So what? I have friends who do that too. One ate gum off the bottom of a table and threw up out of a moving vehicle...DRIVING TO THE BAR! I had another friend try to steal an amp off of a stage while a band was playing. The same guy walked an hour to a bar IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. But apparently these guys get to be on TV because they dry clean their skin tight clothes every day, wear their hair like Powerman 5000, and give themselves asinine nicknames? (I kind of like their nicknames) And I'm sorry but the fact that they "sat down to dinner" isn't deserved of giving them a show. They may have a soft side but the fact remains that these idiots have absolutely no talent at all and the only reason they're on TV is because they are complete D-bags.

Sorry Meathead I can’t help it. Everyone has friends that make jackasses out of themselves, and if they had a show called “College town USA: Cincinnati” you and your friends would probably be on it. Unfortunately, MTV hasn’t made it to the Midwest yet, but if they had people would be saying the same things about you guys. “Look at that hipster kid in the trendy hat!” They aren’t actors, but they don’t have to be. It’s reality TV. All I was trying to say is that people judge them too harshly. They’re kids our age, doing what kids our age do. Get drunk, have fun and look for juiceheads and gorillas. Meathead, you of all people should be able to appreciate their “grenade” analogy.

Their what analogy? My point is just that... ok fine they're like the rest of us to an extent but I don't need the whole world to know my nickname and watch my every move. We do stupid stuff and laugh about it later...to ourselves. Maybe my issue is something much bigger than just this show. Maybe it's my anger with "reality TV". Truthfully I hate all of it. Absolutely zero thought goes into these shows and then they make money purely for being dumb. It just bothers me. So yes the show will stay on, and people like you, and my sister and brother-in-law, and everyone else will call it their "guilty pleasure" but I will never be a part of this trash. Fist pumped or no fist pumps.

See now we got to the bottom of the issue! It’s the genre as a whole, not entirely miei amici at the Jersey Shore.

Grenade by “The Situation”: “Basically, one of these girls was definitely more cuter than the other and it happened to be my girl & Pauly D was with “the grenade.” When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first.”

That's a wingman... I don't need another thing to call it. It's a wingman. Wingmen lower their standards in the event you find someone with possibilities. Ugh- I think this one is an agree to disagree situation.

No, no, no. A wingman is the one that takes the “grenade” the girl is the actual “grenade”. Come on you have to give them that one at least.

For you Goose I will... but only for you. In closing... If I see this "situation" out on Saturday I'm going to punch him if for no other reason than the fact that he's helping slowly kill America with his reality TV garbage.

Uh oh… I take no responsibility for the call out that just happened here.

I'd love to get some comments on this one, and if any of the Jersey Shore cast in reading this then "Ti Voglio Bene" and I apologize for Meathead... he's Irish... or something.

The Justification Equation

2010-01-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

We’ve all had these moments… you know what I am talking about… the “do I really need this?” moment. On one shoulder there is a dowdy looking angel saying “There are so much better things you could be doing with that money, like buying school books or a program so you can finally learn Italian!”, and on the other side there’s a tanned up devil wearing Jimmy Choos, a Cartier bracelet and blood-red Dior lip-gloss saying “You know you need that. Cowboy up and buy it.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through this, just ask Bear about the time he caught me talking out loud to a Burberry bag.

Once you’re in this limbo zone between “drop the cash” and “walk away”, what’s the one thing that will make up your mind for you? Justify, justify, justify. Let me introduce you to a little equation I have utilized numerous times throughout the years.

Total cost/total times use within a year = actual cost

Why just a year? Because you can justify anything over a lifetime darling. Let’s take a look at an example…

We’ll start with this Gucci bag…
***Sidenote: I had to put those boot in there because, seriously, how hot are those??***

Gucci Justification by allegedlyfff featuring Gucci

Total cost: $690 + tax = 741.75
Average times carried over a year (honestly): 150 times (this can be increased to 250 if the bag is bought in black instead because that is the standard in my wardrobe)
741.75/150 = $4.95

So here is the real question… would I pay $5 for each time I carried this bag? Probably not. Now, if I got it in black and the actual cost was only $3? Um, yes.

Now, I’m sure my mother is probably having a heart attack right now, but this can (sometimes) save you money. Here is a quick example that came up in a conversation with Bear the other day…
Bear has 10 pairs of non-designer jeans that cost about $40 a piece, so his “jeans cost” is $400. I on the other hand have (fictionally) 3 pairs of designer jeans that bought on sale cost me $100 a pop, so my total “jeans cost” is $300. Looks like I saved $100… which I probably promptly spent on a pair of shoes… oh well.

Isn’t math fun? If only they had taught econ like this…

Glitteratti

2010-01-22T06:23:00.000-08:00

The Glitteratti is defined by Urban Dictionary as:
Someone who is glittery/made of glitter/possibly the source of all glitter/loves glitter

Well, thanks to some influential sorority sisters during my college years, I consider myself a member of this exclusive group. My initiation was solidified when I became hooked on the new trend that is taking nail salons by storm... Glittery, gorgeous nail tips.

Picture One: The containers of glitter/acrylic Picture Two: My own nails (in light purple) that are in desperate need of a fill

Call it trashy, call it Jersey, call it whatever you want... I love them. They come in a multitude of colors from silver and gold, to peacock and gunmetal, and they never chip because the glitter is the acrylic. Perfect for the girl on the go who needs a little extra fabulosity in her life.

La Dolce Vita

2010-01-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

In Italy "la dolce vita" means "the sweet life", but you can live the sweet life from the comfort of your own home with some delish treats from Becki's Sweet Boutique.

These designer cupcakes, cakes and cookies are made to order, and personalized to your individual specifications. They come in a variety of flavors ranging from the classics (chocolate and vanilla) to more avante garde flavors (pink lemonade).

To see more of Becki's delish creations check out her website: wwwbsweetb.com

He Said/She Said: Men Can't Say (or Spell) Platonic

2010-01-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

Hello Loves,
My fabulous, smart, handsome boyfriend said something very interesting and vaguely insulting to me the other day. He told me that most of my male friends (and I have mostly male friends) most likely wanted to sleep with me when they first met me. Or as he so eloquently put it "get in my pants." I'd also like to mention that said fabulous, smart, handsome boyfriend has a lot of gal friends. When asked whether he became friends with his gal friends because he wanted to do them, his response was a diplomatic "I'm not walking into that minefield."

As a "mixed-gender friendship" what is your take on this?

xo
Meg

...So I see we're wasting little time walking the extremely thin line between chauvinistic and hilarious. Sadly, I have terrible balance. I have an idea of what Goose will say but as for guys admittedly most relationships of any kind be they significant, friendly, or creepy do start because a guy finds a girl attractive. It sounds mean but a guy isn't going to walk up to a girl at a bar because "I bet she's got a great personality!" However I do have many friends who are girls and they come from a variety of situations.
1.) They're friends of my girlfriend. I've had a few instances dating all the way back to high school where my girlfriend's friends became my friends and to this day I'm friends with them even though I've lost touch with the Ex. (This is a touchy one, but that is for a different time)
2.)Another way would be mine and Goose's situation. She was dating someone who lived near me and so there was never the typical guy "I bet she wants us" moment. Just, hey...she's cool and drinks as much as we do!!! (I think someone is a little scared of the big, bad Bear…)
3.) There's also my current situation where when I came to grad school I knew no one and so a group of us just all went out one day. The complete lack of friends for any of us forced us to become a close knit group quickly and now I consider my female friends down here basically sisters. Very protective of them, zero sexual thoughts. It's actually quite refreshing!

That being said, these situations occur FAR less often than a guy saying, as your boyfriend so eloquently put it, I want to get in her pants.

In addition to the list of reasons that Meathead gave for “non-sexual” co-ed friendships I think another to add to the list would be the childhood friend. This is the guy/girl you have literally known since you were born. I have a few of them, but one in particular I’ll call Brother (Creative name Goose). His parents and my parents have been best friends since they were kids, he is about three months older than me and we probably met in the hospital about five minutes after I graced this world with my screaming, blue eyed presence. Obviously, the thought of ever pursuing anything other than friendship with him was... well, disgusting (no offense to Brother). Example: about 3 years ago our families were on vacation together and one of his douchebag friends suggested that he hop in the shower with me. His response “Ew! Gross, dude! She’s like my sister.” No truer words have ever been spoken.

BUT I believe these are the exceptions to the rule. Men, unlike women, were not blessed with enough blood to run their brains and…um… other extremities… (You’re talking about our arms right?) at the same time. Call it a double standard, but I think that women are capable of separating friendship from a need to fornicate. It’s Biology Meathead, what’s your take?

It's not that I'm scared of Bear so much as the terrifying things in my head I could imagine happening to me. I've seen The Godfather, Goose... I don't want any horse heads in my bed.

Biology... science makes my head hurt. I hate to say it but you are pretty much right. (Get used to it ladies and gentlemen) We men tend to work best on one track minds. While I CAN multi-task fairly well, more often than not singular thoughts work best. Perhaps my high school baseball coach said it best. Men are still cavemen. “See ball, hit ball” was his advice. His thoughts on women were men tend to think "see woman... make sex with woman." He was not the classiest of men. Goose, you make a good point about the childhood friend thing but I don't really have any of those who were girls. The closest I can think of is a girl I went to school with from pre-school through high school, but my brother dated her for a little bit so any possible sexual thoughts went right out the door. That ship, as they say... had sailed.

So, I guess our consensus would be that:
Yes, most of your guy friends wanted to get into your pants at some point, so the reverse probably holds true as well (sorry!) UNLESS the friendship falls into one of the exceptions. Sound about right?

Oh and with all this being said, tell you’re boyfriend to grow a pair because if he’s got the gall to say something like that he should AT LEAST be man enough to discuss it with you… (real nice)

Meathead and Goose: He Said/She Said

2010-01-19T10:27:00.000-08:00

So, I have been super excited about writing this post for the last few weeks, and here it is (finally). This is my (our) first attempt at "co-blogging". I'll let Meathead handle the introductions, and then we can go from there (myself in pink and Meathead in blue).

I first met Goose (that would be me... for obvious reasons) our freshmen year in college. She was dating the 9 foot tall kid who lived next door (Ugh, you had to go there Meathead) and would off come hang out with my black roommate and me because we were much, much cooler. Well he was, I was just his half Jewish roommate, but combined we were the most amount of minority in a single room John Carroll had ever seen. We quickly became friends and realized we had some things in common. Mainly a love for vodka and Clone High, and Vegas. Throughout our 4 years at THE Jesuit University of C-town we maintained our friendship b/c of our shared interests and also that we were both able to coast through school, maintaining good grades while not really ever studying (Thank you communications program). After graduation we kept our friendship going because in order to survive our work lives we needed to email each other (constantly)... So here we are now. Two friends, with varying opinions on pretty much everything but respect for the others thoughts... Plus on top of all that... we're hilarious (like really hilarious).

I think it might be the Comm. Majors in us, but we like to debate, and do so constantly and purposefully. We go to each other for advice and opinions knowing that they will more than likely be different from our own (don't try to deny it Mister "How can you watch the Jersey Shore?"). We hardly ever change each others' minds, but we always open the other's eyes. Meathead will probably never get me to fully understand just how amazing soccer is (supposedly), and there is probably little to no chance of him giving the Real Housewives of New Jersey the respect they deserve (but at least he kind of knows their names now).

....well maybe not their names but at least I know what "bubbies" means (obviously “bubbies” would stick in his head). As for soccer, come June you'll understand Goose. I challenge anyone to watch the world cup and not get caught up in everything that is good about Futbol, but that's for another time (blah, blah, blah).
Goose is right... Our opposing opinions have helped each other, mostly because if anyone else in the world told me maybe I was wrong about something I'd completely ignore and blow them off. I respect Goose's opinions. I mean anyone who "mixes their vodka with ice" can't be wrong too often. I am terrible with moderation (ditto) so we figured if some of us separately is good, more of us together should be amazing. At least in my mind.

So here is the important part for all of our lovely readers. Do you have questions? Need for an opinion from the opposite sex? Have a topic that is constantly debated that need resolution? With two serial monogamists with an expertise in alcohol, debauchery, Vegas, relationships, life in general..

...All of the above. You fashion. Me sports....

...We should have you covered. So, asked away… email, comment, tweet… whichever social media works for you!

Old School picture of Meathead and Goose at a 70's theme party

All that glitters...

2010-01-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

I unfortunately did not get to watch the 2010 Golden Globes last night due to a prior engagement, and therefore I did not plan on commenting on the fashion, winners, etc. Even this morning when I was clicking through the multiple E!, People, etc., galleries I was able to resist the urge to give my commentary. It wasn't until I received a special request from my best friend StoveTop that I decided to share just a few remarks.

Before I get into individual outfits, let me say, that I am a HUGE fan of the two trends we saw on the red carpet.
1) The super-high, super-sassy slit. Loved, loved, loved it.
2) Pale colored gowns. The majority of them looked incredible, minus Ice Queen Nicole Kidman’s only because the gown and her skin tone were more or less the same color.

Sandra Bullock: This was going to be your year Sandy. I expected something better, but at least it wasn’t the worst there.
Halle Berry: You’re hot. We get it. Your body puts all of our bodies to shame. No reason to rub it in by wearing some bedazzled dominatrix outfit.
Sigourney Weaver: I love the combination of emerald green on pale skin. Gorgeous, classic and age appropriate.
Heidi Klum and Seal: Heidi you’re better than this. It’s more Ariel the Mermaid goes to prom in the 80’s. I’m just not a fan.
Emily Blunt and John Krasinski: How freakin’ cute are these two? Love her pale gown, and his navy tux was a standout among the men.
Mariah Carey: Did you get that from Forever 21? Take it back. PS Try keeping your Golden Globes under wrap for a change.
George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis: All I have to say is does she really have an armband tattoo? Really?
Kate Winslet: Perfection. I love everything about this woman.
Chloe Sevigny: I’ve got to give it to her, she is never dull.
Marion Cotillard: This cut is doing nothing for you sweetheart, good color though.
Toni Collette: LOVE this! Flawless. Didn't Taylor Swift wear something similiar though?
Julia Roberts: Listen, I know you are Julia Roberts and everything, but a little effort would be nice. I wish I could just roll to the Golden Globes wearing a jersey dress.
Tina Fey: Moving on…
Vanessa Minillo: Why was she even there? I bet if she had one wish it would be for world peace.
Olivia Wilde: Fierce! Kudos for the Haiti donation too!
Christina Hendricks: I’m probably not in the majority on this one, but she was my favorite of the night. That woman is an absolutely timeless beauty, her curves are deadly, and this dress accentuates both in all the right ways.

All photos used are from: http://awards.omg.yahoo.com/photos/108-golden-globes-red-carpet-report-card

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster..."

2010-01-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns." -The Godfather

I'm going a little bit out of my comfort zone and into more dangerous territory, but I just could not resist any longer. I cannot understand my extreme pull to the brand "Married to the Mob", although it probably has something to do with the fact that my first crush was on Santino "Sonny" Corleone and ever since I have wanted nothing more than to be a mafia principessa.

There are two things that you would generally not find in my wardrobe, and they are: any and all things that would be classified as "urban" and graphic tees. "Married to the Mob" is composed of both of these things though, but they manage to take "urban" and turn it into "glamour" with a dash of sparkle and a lot of attitude.

My favorite is the standard "Married to the Mob" tee with their signature lip prints, but if someone wants to buy me that fierce, glittery jacket I would welcome it into my closet with open arms!

Married to the Mob by allegedlyfff featuring Married to the Mob

*I take that comment about the graphic tees back, I own one shirt with writing on it, and I only bought it because it was Juicy Couture and it says "Made in the Glamorous USA" and if there are two things I love it's Juicy and the USA.

*Also, for all of you Dirty.com readers and Nik Ritchie fans... recognize someone?

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas: Explanation

2010-01-15T06:08:00.000-08:00

So I have had a few people ask me about my Bridesmaids/Groomsmen reference in the previous post, and I thought I would give a quick explanation. That day I had been having a convo with my friend Mama, and I was telling her about my excitement over my trip to Vegas (48 days for those keeping track).

Miss Informed and Mama in front of the Bellagio water show

Then we have the following exchange:

Mama: So let me get this right, you are going to Vegas with pretty much your entire bridal party? Don't you dare even think about getting married without me there.

Me: Umm, you should probably come.

Mama: I swear, if you and Bear pull that it will be the shortest lived marriage since Miss Spears because I will kill you when you get off the plane.

**Sidenote: There will be no shotgun Vegas wedding (as fun and Hangover-style as it would be) because our Nonnas would have simultaneous heart attacks**

A Pretty Girl’s Guide to Vegas: Preparation

2010-01-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

As all of you probably know already, whether I told you repeatedly in person or you are friends with me on some social networking site, I am going to Vegas. Bible. It’s happening…. In exactly 52 Days.

It came about in a fairly random way (as most things in my life), my friends (we’ll call them the Bridesmaids for distinction) and Bear’s friends (the Groomsmen obviously) just happened to be planning trips to Vegas the same weekend in March for various reasons, so after minimal discussion Bear and I booked ourselves two tickets to Vegas and one gorgeous room at the Wynn.

Sidenote: Although Bear has yet to pop the question, referring to our friends like that just helps keep things clear.

Now, onto the purpose of this post… For a girl the preparation to go to Vegas starts as soon as (if not before) the tickets have been booked. I thought it would be interesting to chronicle some of those steps as my trip with the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen approaches. Here are some things that I have done/am working on doing:

Teeth Whitening: I am finishing my last round of Crest Whitestrips now. Nothing looks worse than yellow teeth in pictures… unless it’s muffin top.

Tanning: I officially fell off the wagon and purchased the Gold Level Month package. I swear, I need a sponsor.

Gym Time: I am training harder now than Tyson before a fight. Vegas=Game Time. Lots of cardio, light weight training with lots of repetitions, and squats… lots and lots of squats. For now I won’t be changing my diet, but I’ll be lowering my carb intake closer to the actual trip, mostly because I don’t think I’ll be able to last long without bread or pasta.

Networking: It’s time to pull out the old Vegas Little Black Book to see who I know that still works in the industry. I know the Bridesmaids will be set once they land, but (and no offense is meant here) the Groomsmen might need some help. The double standard is unfortunate, especially because these boys are the cream of the crop (good looking, fun and loose with the booze), but it’s a reality. Knowing them though, they’ll be local celebrities by the time they leave Sin City… that is if they are not sitting in a holding cell somewhere.

Shopping: Now is the time of the year where you can find some AMAZING steals (like these gorg bebe heels I swiped this morning for a third of the price), so early online shopping is key. Lucky for me I still have some time before we leave so I can pick up things as I go… there is nothing worse than having to drop half of the money you were planning to take with you on your wardrobe. Okay, actually that isn’t so bad.

Planning/Coordinating: It’s always good to have an idea of things you want to do in Vegas before you actually get there, otherwise you’ll be so overwhelmed you’ll end up doing nothing. The Bridesmaids and I have already put in a request to take Stripper 101, the Groomsmen, Bear and I will probably also check out the store from Pawn Stars, and any free time will be spent at the Harrah’s Carnival Bar, which is Heaven (Hell?) on earth. Another key to coordinating is planning outfits and packing. Are you going with six girls who all wear the same size? Is it really necessary for you to all pack the same variation of a LBD? Talk amongst yourselves and get that squared away.

As the trip gets closer you can expect more to come, and hopefully I can get one of the Groomsmen to give me a man’s view of the preparation for a weekend in Sin City… hint hint boys…

Tila vs Perez... A Battle of Internet Titans

2010-01-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

I was saddened to hear about the death of Casey Johnson, socialite and heiress to the Johnson and Johnson family fortune. Miss Informed used to pretend to be her sister when out of town because they share a certain…um… “defining trait”. While her loss is tragic, the fame-whoring being done by Miss Tila Tequila, Casey’s “fiancée”, in the wake of her death is disgusting, especially that being done through a Twitter battle versus the Queen of All Media, Perez Hilton.

Here are some of those gems:

We used to tweet each other @caseyjonsonJnJ while laying right next to each other in our bedroom. But now I tweet alone.. unbearable pain. about 3 hours ago from web
@PerezHilton and why are you stalking my page? Are you just angry because you heard that my new Gossip Blog is going to de-thrown you? LOL about 1 hour ago from web in reply to PerezHilton
@PerezHilton Actually Casey & I were going to do that next. That was my Wife's wish was for me to adopt ava. Ur jus jealous nobody loves u. about 1 hour ago from web in reply to PerezHilton
On my new Gossip Blog, u get EXCLUSIVE MATERIAL & I won't lie to my readers like @perezhilton does. Never. My Gossip site will shit on his! 27 minutes ago from web

I think my favorite part is that she references her new gossip blog literally 10 times in the matter of 60 minutes.
Message to Tila: Listen up Sweetheart, I can appreciate your entrepreneurial attitude, but you’d help your case a lot more if you unplugged the keyboard and the webcam for a few minutes. You want to look like the lonely widow? Stop the self-promoting and turn on the waterworks.

Death by Nail Polish

2009-12-31T07:02:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my promise of sharing some interesting stories of mine from 2009, here is one lovingly referred to as "The Spray-Tan Debaucle". This one consists of two stories a week apart that were then relayed to the few select friends that love to hear my "would only happen to me" stories (which there tend to be a lot of).

Preface: I'll refer to the woman that does my spray tan as DaVinci. Why? Because she's Italian and an absolute artist at what she does. You know that glow that Jennifer Lopez always has? Well, thanks to DaVinci, mine is better. That's for another post though.

Another important thing to note is that a few years ago I had a pneumothorax, for those of you not in med school that means I collapsed my lung. Needless to say, my respiratory system doesn't really work at 100% anymore. (The xray to the right is what it looks like. See that dark spot on the far right? That's where your lung is supposed to be.)

On with the story...

On Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 2:10 PM

So I wasn't feeling very well on Friday, but I had that party on Saturday so I needed to get spray tanned. I figured I would just man up and go anyway. So I'm standing there feeling fine for the most part, and then she is like "go into the stand up bed so you can dry off". That was bad idea number one. I was all dizzy and just like praying for it to be over. Instead of just holding onto the straps I was like hanging from them. I go back in and DaVinci is like "okay let me blast you again". I put my arms out and immediately realize this is a bad decision (number two for those keeping track) and within seconds the color drains from my face, my eyes roll in the back of my head and I hit the ground like BOOM. Very graceful. There I am practically naked, laying on the floor of a tanning salon, only to wake up in time to bolt to the sink, throw everything on the ground and dry heave. DaVinci takes this like in complete stride. She just gave me some peppermint gum and water out of those little cups they use to put sample lotion in. At this point I just want to get home, which in retrospect is a bad idea because my tan is all jacked up from rolling around naked on the floor and my face is streaky from crying. I look like a tiger.

On Fri, Nov 6th, 2009 at 10:33 AM

So DaVinci is my tanning lady, and I know you have heard me talk about her like a million times before. We're super close, and talk regularly aside from the tanning. Well, the last time I was there was when I passed out (I'm sure you haven't forgotten that one), but she had also told me during that session that she was planning on leaving the salon because they were really sleazy and a bunch of other reasons. She especially doesn't get along with the owner's daughter in law who does nails in the lobby of the salon, I'll call her DIL. Anyway, so I text DaVinci like I always do "Hey DaVinci, are you set up in your new place yet?". She texts me back "I've been in and out of the hospital. Who is this?", well it was something like that, but it still sounded really aggressive almost. I text her "It's Miss Informed from St. Rocco's. Are you alright?" and she says 'I'm going to call from a private number. Make sure you pick up it's important." So she calls me and the first thing she does is apologize and tells me she knows why I passed out. Clearly, she has my attention. Apparently, she thought it was very strange that I had passed out because I have done this enough, but she knew something was REALLY wrong when her other friend who has been going to her for like 10 years passed out. Then, DaVinci started to get sick. That's when she started trying to figure out what was going on, and she wanted to her husband to come in and take her compressor apart to see what was going on with it because she knew it wasn't her formula that made us all sick (it's completely natural and holistic so it really couldn't have). She was telling the DIL this whole thing when DIL like completely broke down and confessed to putting NAILPOLISH in the compressor like sabotage or something. I mean, all of the chemicals in that stuff was bring strayed directly into my FACE and other places I wouldn't want nail polish.

So, let's review. In order to sabotage, and possibly kill, DaVinci this crazy lady poured toxins into something that is SPRAYED IN PEOPLE'S FACES , and as soon as those chemicals hit my lung and a half I hit the ground like Lindsey Lohan on a Friday night.

Welcome to my life folks, it's a wild ride.

How Not to Throw a Bachelorette Party

2009-12-30T13:30:00.001-08:00

In September of 2009 I attended a Bachelorette party that was, quite possibly, the worst night of my entire life. The following Monday I sent out an email to my former roommates detailing the night. The post that you are about to read is that email in its entirety (very, very few things have been changed). Read at your own discretion:

I felt the need to elaborate on the bachelorette party that I attended this weekend. Most of you are up to speed on my cousin and his trashtastic fiance MuffinTop, but this weekend took it above and beyond any realm of hillbilly that I have ever experienced. For all my Thetas, it was like Hoedown, but for real and with the girls from Flavor of Love. So, here are some (a lot) of bullet points to how my night went. I should also say that if any of you throw a bachelorette party like this...ever... for anyone... I will deny ever knowing you...

I should have known I was in for a fun night when when my eleven year old sister tells me that I shouldn't wear a dress because "you're prettier and skinnier than the bride"

MuffinTop picks me up from my house wearing light washed jeans, white sneakers (I think they were knock off Forces, but I couldn't confirm) and a white tee that says "Buy me a shot I'm tying the knot". It accentuates her muffin top nicely. Here is the view from the back:

We get to this girl HeadHoodrat's house, and I am greated by a room sized carpet with a gigantic white tiger face on it. Okay Rocky, let's get this party started.

The only booze she has is Jager (no mixer) and (FashionFace prepare yourself) Gallo BLUSH wine in INDIVIDUAL SIZED BOTTLES (which PS no one ends up drinking, so she takes them out of the ice, puts them back in the cardboard and says she'll return tomorrow).

MuffinTop and I leave to go to the liquor store. I am terrified. This place was so in the hood that Snoop Dog would have sh-t himself. I see a baby in a carrier sitting in the middle of the aisle... by itself. Then while waiting in line to buy booze a Mexican man behind me says (in Spanish) that he wants to put a baby inside me. I respond with "Hablo espanol -sshole".

We get back to HeadHoodrat's and they are comparing stretch marks... seriously....

We leave to go to "Rodeo", which is the bar that MuffinTop used to bartend at when she was underage and pregnant... class, class, class. This place makes Quinn's (a local dive bar) look like the bar at the f'in Ritz Carlton. The bartender informs everyone that you can smoke in there... that's normally a bad sign...

This is where the fun starts... MuffinTop's old "cake daddy" (sugar daddy to those of you who didn't live on a numbered street) shows up, and when I say old I mean old. Like 73 old. She informs me that he bought her truck, a bunch of stuff for her kid, AND the speakers for my cousin's car. Fantastic. Then I'm told that I cannot speak a word of this to my cousin. Oh, and this guys name is Dinkus.

At this point I text my sister to tell her this guys name in case I end up chopped up in a dumpster somewhere.

We head to the next bar called "Little Kings" we are the only people there except for Dinkus! What a coincidence! He buys all of our drinks which I politely refuse because it was too early in the evening for roofies.

Then Old Man River Dinkus drives us to the next bar. This man was so old he had a handicap thing hanging from his rearview. I think this bar was called Hi-lows. It was covered entirely with John Wayne, seriously. There was a cardboard cut out of The Duke in the corner. This is where all Hell starts to break loose.

MuffinTop looses her MoH's "diamond" necklace (b-tch you know those were CZ's), only to find it on the ground. Then she almost rips my Italian horn necklace off of my neck because a black cat crossed her path, and in the process she must have told me literally 100 times not to tell my cousin about any of this. Dinkus gives her $70, the MoH's man shows up (I should also point out that I already hate her. She wears cheap shoes and brags about how many pairs she has, she hasn't done anything shower/bachelorette party wise and she's a hoodrat plain and simple) and then the icing on the cake... This guy Joe starts talking to me. He's a little agressive, but I make sure to tell him that I have a boyfriend. He tells me he is going to find Bear and prove who is a tougher man. I say good luck with that, and he continues to be pretty pushy. Then I notice it... the teardrop tattoo. Anyone who has seen Lock Up should know what that means, sure enough when he walks away one of the girls tells me that he JUST got out of prison. Lovely.

We leave Hi-Lows and HeadHoodrat's "Old Man" (different one) drives us to West 6th. Finally, I think I am safe. I drag them to Tequila Ranch. By now I want to kill all of them, except for the one older lady because she seemed to be hating it as much as I was. To get back at MuffinTop for making me lie to my family I buy us a ride on the bull. Horrible idea. I don't take into account how much 6'2" of sloppy drunk weighs when it is bucking back and forth behind you. I can tell you that it cost me $10, a sprained wrist and four broken nails. After that I just told her to stop talking.

After we dance on the bar for a bit they are like "Let's go somewhere else." I'm fine with it thinking we would go to Dive Bar or Velvet Dog or something. I could not have been more wrong. The worst MoH ever, and her man "Co" say "Let's go to Shadow". Let me point out two things: 1. Who the h-ll made you boss? and 2. Do I look like someone that belongs in a club called Shadow?

Sure enough we get there, pay a $10 cover, walk in and find ourselves to be the only white people in the place (minus Co and half of MoH). It isn't even crowded enough for us to go unnoticed. They wouldn't even serve us at the bar and they are playing nothing but Pitbull. I grab the test tube shot girl and told her to stand by me and I will keep buying shots.

MuffinTop lights her cig on the wrong end and that is the breaking point for me. I told her to grab a ride with her girl MoH and Co and dueces I'm out. The other girls leave too. At this point, my cousin is calling me crying because "she's not going to come hoooooooooooooomeeeee is she?" and I am standing in front of possibly the worst bar in my city. My decision? Walk down the street and sit in front of some apartments until Bear gets there to get me. The only plus about that was I met a guy who had lost his flip flop at the football game and had walked around all day with one shoe on.

Bear finally gets there, my phone is dead, I am frozen and all I can say without crying is "Can we please go to Taco Bell?"

In case any of you think that such a night is impossible let me give you a good look at the players involved...

From left to right: Old Lady, Miss Informed, MoH and HeadHoodrat

Ciao 2009!

2009-12-30T11:23:00.001-08:00

I think saying that 2009 has had its ups and downs would be an understatement (to say the least). In the world of celebrity we have had everything from births of adorable celebri-minis like the newest Kardashian, to the losses of great names like Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, etc. Fashion has unfortunately created "hipsters" and showed flats on the runway (blasphemy), but also brought us skinny jeans, mini dresses, feminine leather, and the leg tattoos from the Chanel spring collection (gorg). Not to mention the multitude of terror attacks taking place here and abroad, the Iranian revolution, the recession, the recovery from the recession, etc.

The question now is what can we learn from this tumultuous year? Now I cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you what I know...

-There are two kinds of family in this world… the one you are born with, and the one you make for yourself. Love them both with everything you have.

-I honest to God wish that I grew up in Jersey and could be friends with the Real Housewives of New Jersey (minus Danielle obvi)... I don't care what anyone says about them because they understand what's important in life: family... and good Italian cooking.

-Skinny jeans really are slimming.

-Finding a man that supports you through anything will open your eyes to things you never thought possible.

-The bigger they are the harder they fall… I’m talking to you Tiger.

-I am, in fact, one of those crazy dog moms thanks to my puppy Stella.

-When they tell you to wash off your deodorant before spray tanning they mean it. Your armpits will turn green, and your sisters will laugh hysterically.

-Getting your hair/nails done will always jolt you out of a bad mood

-...so will shopping...

-... but calling one of your best friends who now lives in DC, Columbus or Pittsburgh is probably one of the least expensive options.

-Love what you do, and if you can't then shut up, make the best of it and be happy you have a job.

-I have a longer list of guilty pleasures than anyone should, and it includes: Jersey Shore, Maury, Grey Goose, Bear's dad's homemade vino, Twitter, watching old Mob movies with a bottle of said vino, tiramisu, carbs (in general), designer sunglasses... you get the idea.

In the next few days I plan on sharing some of my funniest stories from 2009, so check back for those, and if not Felice Anno Nuovo! Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T06:43:00.000-08:00

Buon Natale, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays from Miss Informed and her's to you and your's!

An Open Letter to Cosmopolitan:

2009-12-23T05:51:00.000-08:00

The other day I was walking through my local CVS (I was in serious need of restocking my mother's Bailey's supply) when I came across the January 2010 issue of Cosmopolitan. Completely forgetting about the Bailey's, I grabbed it and rushed to the counter so I could go home and indulge in quite possibly my favorite magazine of all time.
So there I am, curled up in my most comfy Juicy Couture and sipping on a hot cocoa (sans Baileys... oops) when it happens... I disagreed with them. Not just a little tiff, but a full on "this cannot be true" moment. What could have gotten Miss Informed so up in arms? The 2010 In/Out list. Let's break it down...

1. In: Rock'n'Roll Jewelry Out: Dainty Jewelry
There are a handful on this list that I can get behind, and this is one of them. I tend to have a "bigger is better" opinion on all things jewelry related (probably due to my obsession with anything and everything Jersey). While I am not a fan of the skull and cross bones look, I can definitely see myself rocking an over-sized cross or Italian horn.

2. In: Boyfriend Jeans Out: Boot-Cut Jeans
I am sorry, but I have one thing to say about this Cosmo: Are you f'ing kidding me? Let me explain, unless you are Giselle Boyfriend Jeans, while comfy, do nothing but make you look fat. In some peoples' cases they do slim the waist, but who cares about that when it looks like you are rocking thunder thighs under all that extra denim. Boot-Cut jeans are hands down the most figure flattering jeans cut there is, and when in doubt I will always buy those.

3. In: Black Leggings Out: Black, Wide-Leg Pants
I am in full agreement with this one, but I should note that while leggings look great under everything on everyone, not all people can get away with wearing them as pants. Kim Kardashian? Yes. Kristie Alley? Not so much.

4. In: Bandage Skirts Out: Full Skirts
Not exactly practical, but we'll go with it.

5. In: Small Day Bags Out: Oversize Day Bags
I have two points on this one:
A. I sold high end bags for a few years in college, and we had a saying "the bigger the bag the smaller the waist." Think about it.
B. Between my Coach wallet, my Fendi shades, an ungodly amount of makeup and my ever-ready Blackberry there is no way I could possible downsize.

6. In: Floor Length Jumpsuits Out: Maxi Dresses
Ew. All I am going to say about that is that Floor Length Jumpsuits are the fashion one night stand. You'll immediately regret it in the morning.

7. In: Long Slouchy Tees Out: Short Fitted Tees
I have more of a personal issue with the Long Slouchy Tee. As a girl with some curves these things do nothing but make me look like I am wearing a tent. At least the fitted tees give me more of a Jessica Simpson look (circa Newlyweds), instead of the slouchy tee that makes me look like John Travolta in Hairspray.

8. In: Motocycle Boots Out: Ladylike Boots
Seriously? I mean, really? Buckles? Yes. Chains? Yes. But, full on flat Motorcycle Boots? Doubtful. I asked Papa J (my Daddy) his opinion on these and his response was: "Good, now I can wear my sh-t kickers without being embarrassed." I don't think I could have put it anymore eloquently.

In Memory of Brittany Murphy...

2009-12-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

Just like any girl who was a tween in 1995, Clueless is one of my all time favorite movies, Girl Interrupted makes it onto that list as well, and I was so saddened to hear about the untimely loss of actress Brittany Murphy, 32. She always seemed so fun and full of life.
As with most celebrity deaths, the media is consumed with speculation about what attributed to her cardiac arrest. Out of respect for her family and friends I will only say that it is an incredible shame that she was taken so soon, and if there was any wrong doing that caused her life to be cut short I hope those involved are brought to justice.

See you on the other side Brittany. "I hope not sporadically..."

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas (Part Two)

2009-12-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

There was no question in choosing between Vegas and Bear (which he will be known as from here on out). In the end, even though I miss it all the time, I knew that I could live without Vegas, but not without Bear. That being said, I still sigh when I see the strip in movies like Casino and 21, and I am definitely guilty of crying during Ocean's 11 when they are watching the Bellagio water-show.

Now that you know the back story (which was basically told to explain to you that you will never, and I mean never, love Vegas as much as Miss Informed does), we can get to the point of this post. There is a way to do Vegas correctly. Treat Vegas with the respect that it deserves and it will show you things that you never dreamed possible. Here are some tricks of the trade for how to enjoy Vegas in style (while spending very little of your own money):

Vegas will never be as good as it was back in the day (like Sinatra back in the day), and as the younger generation we should do what we can to bring it back to its glory. This means: DRESS TO IMPRESS. As far as I am concerned anyone sporting a fanny pack or a visor of any kind should have their Vegas rights revoked. Dress up during the day, and dress to the nines at night. You never know who you will run into.

Talk to EVERYONE. Those guys who seem obnoxious when they run up to you at the slots in the MGM? Yeah, they'll get your name on a VIP list. There are two levels of these "scouts". The first will be handing out business card type passes that will waive your cover. These are great, but you can do better. Keep your eyes out for the second kind of scouts. The ones with the clip boards who give you their cell phone number. These scouts, from my experience, are generally pretty girls themselves. Their job is to find pretty girls walking around the strip during the day, and get them to come to TAO, Tryst, PURE, wherever to sit with the high rollers buying bottle service. If you meet enough of these people your first day, you can plan out your whole vacay before dinner at Nove. Talk to the bartenders and the randoms sitting at the bars. One of the best times I had in Vegas was chatting it up with a bartender named Dennis Donato and some guy who sat down with us at a sidebar at the Bellagio. Plus side, the random guy ended up covering my friend’s and my bill.

Have PATIENCE. This is important. If you are a girl in Vegas, you DO NOT have to pay for anything. All you have to do it stand there, look good, smile, and talk about how hungry/thirsty/whatev you are. True story: After leaving PURE one night my friend and I were starving. In order to test my theory on doing Vegas for free, I went and stood in the middle of a crowd of people and said loudly to my friend "Oh my God I am so hungry", and like a fashionista at a Gucci trunk sale these two gentlemen appear to take us out for food. By the end of dinner they had given us Visa giftcards to shop with and paid for a limo to take us back to where we were staying.

Be POLITE. Please. These guys are dropping some serious bank to pay for your drinks, dinner, gambling, limos etc., so say thank you. Pretend to be interested in what they are saying even if you aren't actually interested in anything else about them. Granted, most of the guys that go to Vegas would like to hook up, but the majority of them will be happy just to have a bunch of pretty girls at their table. I should point out that if Mr. Software Engineer turns into Mr. Grabby Hands grab the biggest bouncer you can find and have them tell him to kick rocks... then claim the bottle of Goose as your own. (Note: bouncers will be your best friends so be super polite to them. They will escort you to the bathroom so you don't have to fight the crowd, pour your drinks for you, and walk you back to your room if you aren't feeling well. Tip them and thank them). Pretty girls are a dime a dozen in Vegas, but pretty girls who are fun and nice are hard to come by.

It will also help your cause significantly if you can roll with a group of gorgeous girls like these...

Faces blurred because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

Check back for Part Three... more tips and stories from Miss Informed's trips to Vegas... including a run in with Chuck Liddell...

A Pretty Girl's Guide to Vegas (Part One)

2009-12-17T06:08:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night. ~Chuck Palahniuk

Las Vegas, Nevada is to adults what Disneyworld is to children... only better. The first time I saw the bright lights of the strip glittering in the middle of the desert from my airplane window seat my life changed for good. I was ten, and I was absolutely, one-hundred percent, head-over-heels in love. I knew in that moment that there was no place I would want to spend my adult life more than in Sin City, something that I didn't hesitate to tell anyone when I got back to my boring, mid-sized, mid western city. Imagine the look on my parents faces when they saw my "What I want to be when I grow up..." poster at my 6th grade open house, and it was me dealing blackjack at Ceasar's Palace.

Fast forward to my Senior year of college, and one of the most memorable years of my life. I was freshly 21 and managed to visit Vegas twice that year. I applied for jobs at the Bellagio, Harrahs, the Wynn, anywhere on the strip that would take my applications. I brought suits with me on both of my trips in case the opportunity to interview presented itself, and I networked like crazy. I would dream about my future fabulous life just living the dream as Steve Wynn's right hand woman, and spending my nights and weekends becoming the it girl of Las Vegas' nightlife.

Then it happened. I came home, and I fell absolutely, one-hundred percent, head-over-heels in love... with a boy. It was your typical love story... boy meets girl in front of a pizza shop at 3 in the morning and proposes on the spot, girl says "yes" after confirming he had a nice, strong, Italian last name, and then girl finds out that said boy works for his family's construction company... which is based in the boring, mid-sized, mid western city...

Check back for Part Two to see who Miss Informed chooses... her first love or her true love...

Tis the Season

2009-12-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

Miss Informed is feeling the sprit of the holidays today and decided to write her wishlist for Christmas 2009. Here it is for your reading pleasure...

Dear Santa,

This year I wish for...

-The following people to go away... Chris Brown, Michael Lohan, Heidi and Spencer, Kanye West and Jon Gosselin... I'm sure I'm not the only one who has asked for this, so if you could help it would be much appreciated.

-Something good to happen to Jessica Simpson. God knows she needs it. (Her dad not being so creepy would be a good place to start)

-A vacay to Sin City with my beautiful friends... along with tuition for this: http://www.stilettospyschool.com/

-Nicolette Sheridan to start aging... she's making the rest of us look bad.

-Lil Wayne to stop reproducing and just focus on making music. That man is just a few more sips of Robitussin away from a bad episode of Intervention.

-Marc Jacobs quilted satchel, the one with the kiss-lock top... you know the one. I'll trust your judgement on the color.

-A bottle of Grey Goose to share with the people around me... and another just for me would be nice.

-My great-grandma Grassi's calamari marinara recipe.

-A pair of Christian Louboutin's. Please.

-And finally, to steal a quote from "Elf", "... a Tiffany engagement ring, and for her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet and commit already".

Best wishes to you and Mrs. Claus!

Sincerely,
Miss Informed (20 years+ on the Nice List)

...And to all of you: good food, great drinks, and fabulous friends to you and yours! Buon Natale!

My Philosophy

2009-12-14T12:52:00.000-08:00

I have been tossing around a few ideas on what my first posting would be about. First I thought "The Twelve Days of Tiger's Mistresses" in keeping with the holiday spirit, but after not being able to get past "...and a Five-iron through your windshield..." (not to mention the Cheat-Count rising to 13) I decided to drop that. Then I thought, what about taking a "Shoes don't stretch and men don't change" approach to all of the Hollywood two-timers, but then I remembered that my most fantastic pair of shoes, that I bought at a size too small, now fit like a glove.

After a few martini's this weekend, made with the secret family recipe, my sister said "Well, you should probably warn them." "About what?" I asked. Then she said, "What they are getting themselves into." So, here it is... My philosophy on fashion, gossip and myself (subject to change)...

Fashion:
-Invest in staple pieces. Certain things will never go out of style and it's completely acceptable to drop serious cash on them. Examples: a gorg little black dress, diamond studs, Tiffany's, a great pair of jeans, some fab designer shades, George Clooney...
-Spice up your collection of staples with fierce accessories. White blouse and light brown pants looking a little blah at work? Throw on a pair of Dolce and Gabbana orange patent leather pumps to change the look all together.
-Ladies, just because you can button your jeans doesn't mean they fit. There is nothing... and I mean nothing... sexy about muffintop.
-The key to being sexy is to have the class to back it up. Standard rule of thumb: if you are showing cleavage don't show all of your legs, and the reverse it true as well. Unless you are J. Lo in green Versace you are going to look slutty... plain and simple.
-As far as shoes go, the higher the heel the better, and if they have a red sole they're the best.
-Fashion is an art form, and even though we aren't all Picasso we can at least color inside the lines. Know your limits and work within them, not all of us can be Rachel Zoe or FashionFace.

Gossip:
-There are some things that I don't need to know. I don't really care what Bragelina's 14th child looks like... call me in 17 years when she is getting thrown out of the Chateau Marmont.
-If you plan to ever be an actor, a singer, or a reality TV "star" (or just sleeping with one of the above) do NOT send ANYONE revealing pictures of yourself. They WILL be leaked, they WILL be put all over the Internet, we WILL all see your business and then I WILL say "I told so".
-Don't bitch about the paparazzi. You're a celebrity, and you signed up for this and you get paid 20 million a movie to deal with it. Don't like it? Then stop going to the Ivy and move to Montana.
Miss Informed:
-I like my reality TV as trashy as possible... Jersey Shore, Maury and Cheaters... if it takes place in Jersey there is a 100% chance that I am watching it.
-I'm a recovering tanerexic
-My first love was Las Vegas, and a girl never forgets her first.